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I do what I want
and I do it with my very own way
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Realisation
Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Okay,so this blog has been dead for,erm,almost 2 months,but it's not really my fault, I'm just too lazy to write,plus, I have nothing to write. As you all know, PMR is finally over,we've all been like super stress the week before PMR and some of them are discussing questions and checking answers with friends and online.Honestly,i don't feel panic during the exam but my hands were shaking on the first day of PMR, but after one minute sitting there, getting used to being in the exam hall, I calmed down and do my papers.And yes, my BM paper is so dead,but heck, I was never good in that language anyway.

You know,before PMR all of us are so busy studying, our timetables are literally packed with 10 hours of non-stop studying,5 hours of sleep,6 hours of school and the other extra 3 hour to eat,go to the bathroom and of course,online.We were so busy that we stopped noticing things, things that annoyed and bothered me before doesn't irritate me anymore now that I have much more important things to think about, to worry myself about. During that time I truly stopped caring whether or not that person is being an idiot or if that person is angry at me. I had so little time in my hands that I just simply stopped acting like I paid attention to what they say, I just simply said : "oh" and ended the whole conversation.Now when I think about it,maybe I was being a little too harsh to some of the people,but some of them do deserve it.

So,PMR is over now,and instead of feeling happy because of our new found freedom and spare time, I felt bored.I was literally sitting on my sofa thinking what should I do now and realize that I had done everything on my list not once but twice.I was so bored that I started sleeping like a pig just to kill time. Not just that but after PMR when your mind deletes everything you've studied and creating more and more empty spaces in that brain of yours,you started to notice things again.I started to get annoyed and irritated again,now that I think about it,that person has always been that way but I just never noticed and now that I'm free again,I started to realize what an annoying person can she be.But hey,I'm not the only one who thinks so too and there's a number of people who agrees with me.I maybe an annoying person, but you are just on the next level, a level where only you can achieve,only YOU can annoy me that much and still expect me to laugh it off and act like nothing's happened,only you can think like you know me well and still say some stupid things that pisses me off and think that I won't get mad.Well,you are so wrong.

For a moment there I actually felt guilty and mean for saying those things about you,but when you said those words to me and think that I will still apologize to you after that incident, I just feel like what I said wasn't enough, I just can't even talk to you like it was before.



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