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I do what I want
and I do it with my very own way
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Sunday, August 29, 2010

If I say that I am an anti-social person,will you ever believe me?

This may sound cliche, but if I told you that I often feel lonely in a mist of crowds,will you believe me?

If I say that I'm a bitch who's heart is filled with bitterness,unhappiness and hatred,will you believe me?

Will you ever believe that I am a selfish person who thinks about herself and puts herself before many things?

Will you ever believe that I often feel really out-of-place and wanted to be left alone many times?

Will you ever believe that I'm a hypocrite who at the same time wants to be alone yet wants to have lots of people around me?

Will you believe that I'm a problematic person?

Will you believe that I'm someone who dislikes many people?

Do you believe that I am a very judgmental person?

Do you believe that I am a very good liar?

If you ARE reading this now,would you believe that I am who I said I am?
Some of the things I've listed out is true, some are fake.would you ever trust me again, knowing that I am not who I appear to be?

Many said that they know me,many said that I am really predictable. But if I ask them what kind of person I really am, some are speechless while some can rant on for a long time. Yet, among all those who've commented on what kind of a person I really am, how many are there that are true? the answer is : very few. Many thinks that they know me very well, the truth is, they just saw the side of me that I wanted them to see. However, some people are really observant, they saw through me no matter how hard I tried to hide who I really am.

While I'm typing this, I feel so lost. Sometimes I wished that there will be a day where there's no need for me to pretend, but I guess that that day will never come. Some people knows me as the cheerful girl, some knows me as the tomboyish girl, while some knows me as the noisy girl. I wonder, if those people read this now, will they be surprised that the cheerful girl doesn't sound cheerful? or the noisy girl sounds so quiet now?



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